


Proud In Life

by Higgies230



Series: More Than That [2]
Category: Shameless - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bipolar Disorder, Happy Ending, Insecure Ian Gallagher, Insecure Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-07-25 18:33:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Higgies230/pseuds/Higgies230
Summary: Following Mickey's proposal all of the obstacles that stand in between Mickey and Ian and their wedding day. Ups and downs and meddling Gallaghers, Ian becoming an internet sweetheart with his pictures of his Milkovich boys, all before finally getting to the big day.





	1. Fiancee

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pottergames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pottergames/gifts).



  Sun filtered in through the window and onto Ian's face, warming and waking him up pleasantly. Scrunching up his face, the red head slowly woke, opening bleary eyes he took in the sleeping form in front of him- the other man's face close to his own on the pillow. Mickey looked so peaceful and beautiful like that, asleep with the sun filtering in and highlighting his features in the best way. There he was, so close and in bed with Ian who got to wake up beside him every morning and every morning that he did he felt like his heart would explode with happiness. That man was all his, his fiancee, a man that had asked Ian to spend the rest of his life with him despite everything. 

  Placing a soft kiss on his future husband's forehead, Ian reluctantly slipped out of the warmth of the bed. He needed to go for his run before coming back in time for Yev to wake up, the kid was six months old now and you could time him waking up in the morning to the second. It had fallen to Ian to get him up because of the schedule that he had fallen into- it was just something that helped with the bipolar. 

  Mickey had told him that he didn't need to run every day, that if he did put on a little bit of weight because of the medicine it was fine. That conversation had come about when he'd asked Ian about the religious exercise and the red head had told him about that side effect of his meds. Although Mickey said that, a part of him that still felt like he had to really work for their relationship disagreed. Plus he still worked in the Fairy Tale, although more frequently as a bartender than dancer now, and needed to keep in shape. Though that was still second to Mickey's attraction...

  He pulled on his trainers and left the house, picking up speed as he made his way down the empty six am streets. It was quiet and empty and still, perfect to help Ian loose himself in his mind. Boy he overthought things a lot, he knew he did, Mickey and Lip both told him that all the time. He really couldn't help it with his and Mickey's relationship though. 

  Mickey had asked to marry him after his family had confronted him about his meds almost two months ago, it had been the best moment of his life. Svetlana and him were divorced for almost a month now and yet since that night they hadn't actually brought up the fact that they were technically engaged. Ian still hung onto the fact that Mickey still wanted him around even after his family came in and Lip and Fiona dumped all over their relationship and Ian's disease. 

  The fact that Mickey hadn't mentioned it since didn't bother Ian as much as he thought it would. It wasn't like Mickey was any less affectionate than he had been before the proposal, in fact he was probably more so, but Ian found that he wanted to do things to make sure that Mickey stayed like that. That included staying in shape. He had never in a million years thought that Mickey would want to marry him so he wasn't going to push it now, he was more than happy with the little family that they had made for themselves right now. 

  About half way through his run, Ian was finally able to clear his mind and spend the last part focusing on pushing his body until the front and back of his t-shirt was soaking in sweat by the time that he reached the front door of the Milkovich house. Thinking about it, Ian suddenly wondered what their names would be when the got married. Would they double barrel? No... Ian thought about it and about being a Milkovich. Ian Milkovich. That sounded good, right, like he was really part of Mickey's family. He looked after Yevgeny Milkovich and loved him like he was his son- not that he would tell anyone that because he didn't want anyone to freak- and he had been Mandy Milkovich's best friend for years even though she was gone now they still loved each other. Now he had Mickey too and they would be husbands. But would Mickey want Ian to take his name? 

  Entering he walked through his and Mickey's room, glancing fondly at his sleeping still fiancee, before getting in the shower. Showering after a run was always good, washing off the sweat and grime ready for the day. Getting out and dressing quietly, he bent over the bed and ran a gentle hand through Mickey's dark hair before pressing a kiss to his forehead. At the pressure Mickey scrunched up his nose and forehead, mumbling and burying himself further into the pillow in his sleep. He had that same reaction nine times out of ten which is why Ian did the same thing every day. 

  It was coming up to half seven by that point, time to get the baby up. He had to be at the hospital for eleven so he a good couple of hours with the boy before he had to go and maybe an hour or so before Svetlana and Mickey woke. Them time were Ian could be as cuddly and loving towards the boy as he wanted, something that he tuned down in front of Mickey.

  Slipping silently into Lana's room, Ian went and picked up the sleepy baby before he could wake and scream. Grabbing his clothes, he then left the room closing the door carefully behind him. The boy in his arms woke slowly in his arms, tiny finger's clutching at Ian's shirt and gummy smile forming as he looked up at him.

  Cooing at the baby, Ian set him on the table and changed his nappy before dressing him, all the while telling him what a beautiful boy he was and how much he loved him. It was strange really because as the boy grew he looked more and more like his father and yet he looked just like a typical child of California despite having one Ukrainian parent and one Russian. Genetics were strange things.

  It was as he was warming Yev's breakfast when he suddenly felt the need to capture this. So as the microwave buzzed he picked the baby up and sat him on his lap, picking up his phone and kissing Yev's cheek to make him giggle as he snapped a picture of the two of them. It was a lovely one and he gently squeezed the boy in his arms before placing another kiss in the soft blond hair.

  "You're so sweet Yevy. You know what, everyone needs to see how cute you are," Ian spoke, quickly finding the picture and posting it for the world to see captioned "Sweet little man". 

  He grabbed himself a breakfast bar and quickly downed his pills and ate it before sitting Yev his his high chair and starting to spoon feed him his baby food. Making aeroplane noises and funny faces to make his favourite baby giggle he fed the boy. That was how he was when Mickey walked in. The ex-con smiled at Ian and walked over, bending slightly to kiss him before ruffling Yev's hair.

  "How are my two favourite boys?" he asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee. Although Ian didn't really drink coffee anymore because of the caffeine he always made a pot for Mickey and Lana.

  "Good. You slept well last night, so cute this morning," Ian teased, reveling as always in the domesticity of the situation.

  "Hey so I want to talk to you," Mickey said, suddenly serious as he sat down opposite Ian.

  "Yeah," Ian encouraged, glancing over at his fiancee for a moment before going back to the baby.

  "Um yeah. It's been two months and me and Lana have been divorced over a month but we haven't actually talked about any of this wedding shit... so um yeah. I mean your family haven't made any comments so I assume they're on board and all so we um... it'd be nice to just hurry up and make this official you know," Mickey stuttered, rubbing a nervous hand over his brow.

  "I wow yeah. Being husbands  that's so cool. Also my family haven't... I haven't actually told my family," Ian said looking up at Mickey nervously. Pleased that Mickey was bringing this up but surprised that he assumed Ian had told the Gallaghers... he wanted Ian to tell them. Of course he did.

  "Why the fuck didn't you tell them? You ashamed?" Mickey asked incredulously.

  Ian could feel his eyebrows shoot up as he looked over at the love of his life in horror. Ashamed of Mickey? Hell no. Never.

  "Why the hell would I... ashamed! No Mickey never I promise! I just... I never, I didn't know what you wanted to do. We didn't talk about it so I didn't think you'd want me to make a big deal about it," Ian got out.

  After a long moment of silence where Mickey just watched him he finally spoke, " Well is this a big deal to you?"

  "A big deal? Hell yes it it," Ian answered straight away, "You asked me to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm eighteen and I've got the love of my life asking to marry me. It's the biggest deal to me Mickey. I never even imagined... hell when you first asked me to move in I was convinced that I was being optimistic when I packed a weeks worth of clothes and now look at us. I am... fuck I'm just so happy Mick."

  "You're such a sap. Love ya though. I want you with me forever, you're the love of my life too or whatever gay shit you just spouted," Mickey smiled, getting up and going over to kiss Ian deeply.

  Ian sighed into the kiss, gripping Mickey's hip as the man balanced on the edge of the table. The two got lost in each other for a moment before Yev started babbling and they were pulled back to the real world. 

  "Sorry buddy. Breakfast got it," Ian apologies with fake sincerity to the baby.


	2. Ian Milkovich

  The same night that they had their little marriage talk over breakfast was when they found a place and date. They had sat down after setting Yev in for the night- Svetlana left as soon as they got back- and got out their second hand laptop. After about half hour of searching they found a little registry office and set a date for two months from then. It was little and cheap but it didn't matter because they were just interested in the paper that would make them legally family in the eyes of the state of Illinois. 

  They were sat there, snuggled into each other afterwards watching some crappy movie on the TV that they weren't really paying attention to as they began to fall asleep. Ian was semi dozing with his head on Mickey's shoulder and arms wrapped around each other when he came to a realisation that made him chuckle.

  "What?" Mickey asked sleepily without opening his eyes.

  "Just put the kid to bed, planned our wedding and are falling asleep on the couch with a shitty movie playing in the background at nine at night. I'm only eighteen, you're only twenty but we're already acting like a middle aged couple," Ian explained into Mickey's neck.

  "Shit so we are," Mickey huffed a laugh.

  There was a long moment where neither said anything but just continued to doze before Mickey shifted about and gently pushed Ian away. The red head groaned sleepily which made Mickey laugh.

  "We're going to bed now like a proper middle aged couple," Mickey said, getting up and pulling Ian with him.

  The pair stripped and slid under the covers, relaxing into the mattress straight off. Sighing contentedly, Ian pulled his fiancee to him so that the shorter man's back was pressed to his chest. Mickey wound his fingers in between Ian's where his hand was resting over his chest. The ex-con rubbed his thumb over Ian's left ring finger where a ring would be sat in two months time showing the world their commitment to each other forever.

  "Two months and I can call you my husband," Mickey whispered.

  Smiling at that thought, Ian kissed the back of Mickey's neck. Husband. He was going to be able to go around and introduce his beautiful man as his husband.  _Hi I'm Ian, this is my husband Mickey_. Yes, that sounded good.

  "Hey Mick," Ian muttered softly into the short hair at the base of the man's skull.

  "Mmm."

  "What were you thinking our names are gonna be?"

  "Names?" Mickey asked.

  "Yeah like surnames. Cause we're both dudes and all. Do you know what you want?" Ian asked.

  "Haven't thought about it," Mickey replied, "What about you? What do you want?"

  "I was um... was wondering if you'd mind if I became a Milkovich," Ian whispered shyly into Mickey's skin.

  "Milkovich? Not like Gallagher-Milkovich or Milkovich-Gallagher or anythin'?" Mickey turned around in his arms and frowned.

  "Um I mean I don't mind whatever. Just gonna marry you," Ian replied, embarrassed. He buried his head into Mickey's chest so that he didn't have to look at him.

  "No Ian, fuck Ian look at me," Mickey said, using a hand to hook under Ian's chin and pull his face up. "Why'd you want to ditch the name Gallagher."

  "You know... you guys you... except me more I guess. I mean I owe everything to Fiona but now with the bipolar and everything I just- she doesn't ever look at me like I'm me anymore. When we were younger Mandy was my best friend ever. Before it had always been Lip but Mandy I could talk to without being judged or laughed at. Then there was you and I fell in love with you years ago, so fast it was stupid. And it was you that found out about my disease and excepted and helped me and supported me and you were the one that found out and never once looked at me like I wasn't Ian. And there's Yev and I- I know he's nothing to do with me but I love him," Ian rambled, looking right at Mickey so that he knew just how much Ian meant all that.

  "The fuck you mean Yev's nothin' to do with you huh?" Mickey asked with his eyebrows raised.

  "Well he's yours and Lana's Mick," Ian pointed out.

  "Don't be so fucking stupid, you were there for the kid before I was. Loved him before I was able, and I know you understand that and that means a lot but fuck Ian Yev's as much your kid as he is Svet's and mine. Even that bitch says that, telling me what a good dad you are to him," Mickey told him. 

  "Really?" Ian asked quietly after a moment. He had been trying to not show how much he loved that kid, never thought that he was anything to him no matter how much he wished he was.

  "Yeah really fuckhead God you can be dense," Mickey laughed running a hand through Ian's hair and down his neck to stroke a thumb along the top of his spine.

  "You see that Mick. I'm more a Milkovich these days than a Gallagher. I feel me comfortable and at home with you guys than them. So um... if it's okay please can I have your name?" 

  "If it's okay? Fuck Ian course. This is gonna sound really gay and shit so shut your face but the fact that you want to be a Milkovich... that we mean that much it means the world to me okay," Mickey replied softly.

  "Yeah that is gay Mick. God my sappy shit has rubbed off on you," Ian teased with a smile which earned him a light smack around the back of his head.

  "I said shut it Gallagher," Mickey laughed before kissing Ian full on the mouth.

  "Can't call me that for much longer," Ian said as soon as they pulled back, so proud that he could say that.

  "Yeah man... Ian Milkovich. Sounds good. Now go to sleep you giant sap," Mickey smiled, planting one last kiss to Ian's forehead before pulling him close.

  Once more, Ian buried his head into Mickey's chest, breathing in the smell of his future husband. Two months and he would have a ring and the name Ian Milkovich. Now all he had to do was tell his family. That would be fun for sure.


	3. Telling the Family

Ian didn't have any training that day at the hospital and he didn't have to be at the club till much later so he had begrudgingly agreed to go and spend the day at the Gallaghers. At first he had tried to avoid them altogether but then they had just started turning up with sharp words and bitter glares- by they he meant Lip and Fiona. Ian found that it was best to visit and keep Mickey and the Gallaghers apart just so that they couldn't plant doubts in his fiancee's mind.

Today was going to be different though because today he was going to have to actively start a conversation about his relationship with Mickey and how it had... advanced. So in, Ian pulled on his coat and shoes slowly and reluctantly to get ready to leave.

"You telling them today?" Mickey asked behind him.

Turning, Ian couldn't help but smile as he took in the sight of his fiancee with Yevgeny balanced on one hip, the baby gurgling happily. Relaxing immediately Ian stepped over to them, pulling Mickey into a one armed hug while running his free hand through Yev's soft baby hair. Yeah he could tell his family that he had this despite everything. Hell the picture that he had posted of himself and Yev the other day had been received well, more than he thought it would by people he had never met. His life was worth envy and he was going to tell his family just how much today.

"Yeah... God I love you so much," Ian smiled looking straight into his favourite pair of blue eyes.

"Love you too now get out of here you sap," Mickey grinned back, pecking Ian on the lips before pushing him away.

"Going going. Know where I'm not wanted," Ian teased, hands in the air as he stepped out of the door.

As soon as he was out, the calm that Mickey's presence brought was gone and he could feel the tension seeping back into him. Nothing to do for it though so he just shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way towards the Gallagher house as fast as he could. Get this over and done with.

***

Reaching the gate to his childhood home he couldn't help but pause, hand on the cold metal as he willed himself to move. Finally, he managed to push himself forward, jogging up the steps and entering the house without knocking- because that would have been just odd.

"Hey sweetface," Fiona looked up and greeted from the kitchen.

"Hey Fi," Ian smiled stiffly. 

She pulled him into a hug just as Lip and Debbie came trotting down the stairs. He got individual greetings from both, a warmer smile from Debbie than from Lip.

He was just debating breaking the news- God knows he was nervous enough- when Kev and Vee came strolling in. Vee smiled wide and greeted him loudly and with a tight hug, Kev patting him firmly on the back.

"Hey you were about to say something," Lip said, he'd obviously been watching Ian closely.

Suddenly feeling on the spot with everyone looking at him, he felt his mouth go dry. It took a long moment to actually find the words and even longer for him to open his mouth and finally actually stutter them out.

"Well um Mickey asked me to um... to marry him. So yeah..." he got out.

"What?" Fiona said in that quiet, outraged voice that meant trouble.

"You're engaged! That's so cool man!" Kev smiled enthusiastically. 

"Hey Kev. Engaged to Mickey Milkovich, you know, dirtiest white boy in America," Vee chastised.

"Are you serious that Mickey asked you to marry him?" Lip questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah pretty damn sure," Ian snapped, frustrated. Of course it was going to be like this.

"When's the wedding?" Debbie asked.

"Debbie no! There's not going to be a wedding!" Fiona cried.

"Two months cause yes Fiona there is going to be a fucking wedding!" Ian yelled back, trying to hold back the panic. Why couldn't his family support him in at least this?

"Ian you have been banging for about a year. You are eighteen Ian! Eighteen! You are still just a teenager, barely an adult. You got together with a thug ex-con in the middle of a manic burst and now you want to spend the rest of your life with him!" Fiona yelled.

"Fuck you Fiona! You don't know shit. Me and Mickey have been 'banging' since I was fifteen well before I even had bipolar! I moved in with him well after I was stable and was in my right mind! Fuck you for assuming and fuck you for thinking you know what's going on!" Ian yelled.

With that he stormed out of the house, pulling a cigarette out and lighting it as he sat down heavily on the steps. Rubbing at his eyes as he fought tears he didn't hear the door open and close, jumping when Lip sat down beside him.

"Look man, I knew about you two from the start and I knew all of the shit that he put you through. Do you remember all that. For fucks sake Ian he's already married," Lip said.

"No he's not. Him and Lana got divorced about a month back," Ian told him quietly.

"Oh right... um so when did he, you know... ask?" Lip asked slowly, taking the cigarette that Ian offered him.

"The night that you guys found out about my... my illness," Ian confessed, looking at his linked hands in his lap.

"Wow... that was... months ago," Lip stated.

"Yep," Ian replied shortly.

"And you didn't tell us because?" his brother asked.

"Well I think I might be some kind of prophet or something because what just happened in there... just how I thought it would go," Ian told him bitterly.

"Yeah... well you can see where everyone's coming from don't you?"

"You don't know him. We love each other and I know I'm never gonna feel like that about anyone else."

"How the hell do you know that he loves you Ian? Has he ever even told you?"

"Yeah Lip he has. Lots in fact and every time I say it back his face lights up. Every time I struggle with my disease instead of turning around and saying I'm just like Monica he does this amazing thing called comforting me. You know just the other day I was worried because, well always worried really, that I moon over Yev too much because you know he's not mine and well Mickey told me that I was his dad just as much as him. I um... I'm a dad you know and I feel so excepted there and good," Ian rambled.

"Wow um... okay. I think that we are going to um... move on from that for now. Jobs. That's something I've wanted to ask for a while. You quit Kash n Grab ages ago, what have you been doing, you know especially now you've graduated? Army no longer on the table?" Lip asked and oh boy what should Ian say now?

"Well um you can't get into the army if you have bipolar or anything like that so yeah... can understand it though if I get caught out in the field with no meds... I'd be unreliable. But um at the moment I'm training to be EMT," Ian told him.

"Seriously that's amazing Ian! You'll be helping people, saving lives and... wow that's so much better than army right?" Lip responded enthusiastically, clapping him on the back.

"Yeah," Ian muttered. He still wasn't sure how he felt about never being able to become a solder for his country. Supposed he would't have Mickey or Yevgeny if he was over seas though.

"What are you doing for money right now though?" Lip pressed and Ian dreaded answering but Lip was Lip, Ian's big brother. He never could bring himself to lie to Lip.

"Work up in Boystown in a club," he confessed.

"A gay club? What... um what do you do there?" Lip asked, looking somewhat worried.

"Bartend mostly now."

"Now? What do mean now? Also what do you mean 'mostly'?" Lip questioned, sitting up straighter.

"I mean sometimes I still do this but I used to go-go dance and give lap dances," Ian told him, not looking.

"So you're a stripper?" Lip summarised. 

"Yeah basically."

"And Mickey's okay with this?"

"Yeah I mean, you know we um stopped or whatever when he got married. Well it was then that I got manic and got that job before getting stable then I kept it cause it's got good tips. He's um not happy about it per-say but he's okay with it. Why I mostly bartend now," Ian told his hands.

"But you're... safe and all?" Lip questioned.

Ian looked up then at his brother's face, seeing the concern there. At the end of the day that was all the problem that he had with his family, they were concerned and they just didn't listen. At least they cared, that was something.

"Yeah Lip don't worry I'm safe. Not going to do it for much longer anyway," Ian reassured.

"Good. I um... won't tell Fi okay. Just make sure you are good," Lip told him, standing up with a last squeeze on Ian's shoulder.

"Thanks man, I appreciate that," Ian offered a small smile.

"Anytime, what are big brothers for?"


	4. Delayed

  Mickey was sat at the table away from his son while he smoked, cause smoke was bad for babies and all. He was watching the boy though as he played with his toys, a bunch of painted wooden blocks that one or the other of siblings had played with as babies. Didn't matter to the kid that the things were chewed and the painting chipped as in that moment they were the most exciting fucking things in he world. It was cute really.

   He remembered when he'd first seen the kid, his son- and that was still weird to think cause the world had made him a fucking dad- and he hadn't been able to look at him. He'd had Svetlana as his wife and the bloody kid... he genuinely didn't know what he would have done if it wasn't for Ian. Even then his boyfriend had been a broken, insecure shadow of who he had been before everything as he struggled with the mental disease that had torn his family apart. That day when Yevgeny came home Ian had turned around and comforted him, he had held him and told him that he understood and it was in that moment that Mickey knew that he would never love anyone like he loved his stupid ginger.

  To think that that had only been a couple of months ago and now look at where he was. He had divorced Svetlana and even then he no longer thought of her as 'that bitch' having grown fond of her in their marriage. In fact they had all gotten closer, the three of them, and their unconventional little family worked. He was now engaged to Gallagher- something that he never thought that he would have wanted before- and they were going to be husbands in less than a month now. Even though he didn't have the blessing of his fiancee's family he couldn't give a shit, they weren't understanding of anything to do with his Gallagher's life anymore.

  Then there was that night where Ian had asked to be a Milkovich. As gay as he felt he would probably put that down as one of the best moments of his life. Ian and Mickey Milkovich. He couldn't wait until that was a legal reality.   

  At that moment Mickey was pulled from his happy revelry as said red head entered. The ex-con looked up with a smile at his future husband, one that quickly dropped when he saw Ian's face. The man was looking sad and awkward, fidgeting with his hands in a way that Mickey hadn't seen since they first started hooking up again after he and Svetlana had gotten married.

  "What's wrong Ian?" Mickey asked, standing and stubbing out his cigarette before stepping over to his fiancee.

  "I um..." Ian started but trailed off, burying his face in Mickey's neck as he gripped the front of his shirt.

  "Seriously man what's going on?" Mickey pressed.

  He watched closely as the other man pulled back enough to look at him, expression sad like a kicked dog. Ian sighed and rubbed a hand over his face before finally telling him what was bothering him.

  "I found out that my final exam for EMT is on the same day as our wedding. I'll have to wait another six months before I sit it. Guess I was just... just wanted to leave the club you know," Ian told him dejectedly.

  "Seriously? Of all the fucking days," Mickey huffed, "Wait you're not taking it this time round?"

   "No. Wedding's kind of more important isn't it," Ian replied.

  "Not really," Mickey told him. Wedding date could be moved easily, all they had to do was book another date- wasn't like they were having anything extravagant. It was just a registry office after all.

  Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say though because Ian's face fell before he hid it behind that stupid mask that he always put on to hide things from Mickey. He just nodded and then Mickey realised that he should probably have explained himself more.

  "I mean we can just move the date can't we. Just cancel and then re-book the office right?" Mickey reassured.

  "Oh... oh right. Okay, yeah that's..." Ian stumbled over his words looking obviously relieved.

  "I fucking asked you to marry me for a reason you dork. This wedding is important to me, so important  but we can move it about. This exam will get you this amazing job where you will save people everyday and it will get you out of the club that we both hate. So sit the exam, we may well be able to get the office for the day after. Hell I think you've had enough fucking practice in patience with me over the years. This wedding's happening at some point alright," Mickey reassured, cupping Ian's face in his hands before planting a soft kiss on his lips.

  "Love you," Ian murmured into his lips.

  "Love you too tough guy," he smiled back. He used to be so afraid of those words but now he almost needed to hear them from Ian and saying those words to Ian always made the red head's face light up in the most perfect way.

  "I love everything about you. You're my everything and I would love nothing more than to show you just how much right now," Ian crooned, leaning forward so that his lips brushed over the shell of Mickey's ear making him shiver involuntarily. 

  "You do Firecrotch?" Mickey smirked as Ian's lips trailed down his neck.

  Mickey gasped against the orange hair as Ian suddenly brought his hand down to palm Mickey through his jeans. He could only obey as his lover pushed him back into the kitchen away from Yevgeny before pushing him down in one of the chairs and pulling down his jeans and boxers.

 The ex-con watched hungrily as the red head knelt between his knees, green eyes never leaving his as the taller man pulled out his dick and took it in his mouth. He never could get enough of Ian's mouth, it was always so good,  _he_  was always so good. In general Ian was just good in bed, just another tick off the sheet as to why he was so goddamn unfairly perfect.

  Throwing his head back with a moan he wound his fingers into the ginger locks that Ian had grown out in the last year or so. Probably since he had given up on his army dream- the thought was bittersweet because it was something that Ian had had his heart set on but it falling through meant Mickey could keep him. Mickey could keep him and had that long hair that Mickey could tug on during really hot sex.

  Looking back down he groaned again feeling himself getting close. It was then that he glanced back over to the living room and saw his son playing on the floor still as he was getting blown in the next room... fuck!

  "Ian!" he cried, bucking up ans came.

  Grinning up at him, Ian put him away and pulled his hand out of his own jeans where he had apparently been jacking himself off.

  "We just did that in front of the kid," Mickey huffed breathless.

  "He's young enough not to remember. He'll walk in on us at one point or another when he's old enough to know what's going on and then we'll be able to traumatise him," Ian laughed.

  "God knows we both have that trauma. Got to pass it on," Mickey snorted.

  "Um... thank you for... for understanding," Ian said quietly, suddenly sober. He looked so innocent still knelt there looking unsure and Mickey wasn't sure whether to feel upset that Ian looked up at him like that or turned on- despite having just orgasmed. 

  "No problem Ian. We're gonna be married and all so gotta talk and all that shit I used to hate. Compromises and all that gay crap," Mickey said, smoothing a hand through Ian's hair. 

  "Used to hate?" Ian grinned.

  "Yeah you turned me into a fucking sap man," Mickey teased.

  "Yeah my fucking sap," the dork smirked before standing and kissing him softly just the way he thought he'd always hate but didn't.


	5. Every Bipolar Person

  Mickey and Ian had been invited over to dinner at the Gallaghers- well Ian but they just excepted that they were a pair now. Thing was that Debbie had asked him to come over early- God knows why but she was a sweet kid so he agreed- even though Ian would be training at the hospital for another three quarters of an hour.

  The older two Gallaghers openly hated him and it made him uncomfortable because he couldn't beat on Fiona cause she was a girl and he couldn't beat on that asshole Lip. It was fucking uncomfortable be he did these things cause he was going to be marrying his ginger dork and that would mean the million Gallaghers would legally be his family. Besides, the younger three were okay, more than okay. Debbie was sweet even if she was going through teenager shit, Carl seemed to worship the ground he walked on which he wasn't even going to deny was awesome, and Liam was just- God Gallagher had really made him gay- adorable.

  Smoking to calm his nerves, the ex-con made his way over to the Gallagher house, not even bothering to knock before entering. Inside he found that it was just Fiona and Debbie in the kitchen, the house uncharacteristically quiet and empty looking without a couple of dozen people rushing through.

  "Hey Mickey," Debbie greeted as she saw him, Fiona looking up with lips drawn into a tight line.

  "Hey little ginger. What'd you want me here early for?" Mickey asked.

  "Wanted to ask about this wedding. I'm a girl I need to know the details and haven't seen you or Ian since Ian told us  _weeks_  ago," Debbie told him, leaning forward against the counter as Fiona stayed silent.

  "Right um... well what do you want to know?" Mickey asked uncomfortably, unable to stop himself from glancing over at the eldest Gallagher.

  "Well Ian said that the wedding was in two months and that was like almost a month ago so what day is it?" the youngest sister asked happily.

  "Don't know," Mickey muttered in return. Truth was that he was disappointed that they had to postpone but Ian hadn't even considered that when he said that he had to wait for his test and that fact had made him fall a little more in love.

  "What do you mean you don't know? Ian seemed pretty sure," Fiona spoke for the first time.

  "His EMT test was on the same day we planned so we cancelled. Haven't reset the date," Mickey told her shortly, glancing over to see a rather disappointed looking Debbie.

  "At least he knows where his priorities lie there," Fiona snorted earning a scowl from her sister.

  "Actually he came home all upset cause he'd have to wait six more months. Never even crossed his mind to move the wedding, that was my idea so he could get that job sooner fuck you very much," Mickey snapped indignantly. 

  "Really, you. Um Debbie here take this and pop off to the store and grab some milk," Fiona handed over some money before shooing Debbie out of the door.

  Then it was just him and Fiona. Shit. The woman turned to him then with a look of determination on her face that could only mean trouble. He was almost scared of what she was going to say about him or about Ian, he was fed up of it. Mickey had gone through so much shit with Ian and sure he had been an asshole for years but he loved Ian and he wasn't afraid to admit it anymore. Mickey knew that he would die for his Gallagher, would do anything to keep him safe and his fucking family needed to get their judgemental heads out of their asses and realise that.

  "I can tell you now your marriage will be short and unhappy," Fiona said in a quiet deadly voice, raising a hand when Mickey opened his mouth," Ian is bipolar. Do you know what all bipolar people do at one point or another? They try to kill themselves. A lot of them succeed. Our mother for example, Monica bipolar and suicidal. Don't know if Ian told you this but a few years ago on Thanksgiving she slit her wrists and we found her right there in that corner bleeding out, convulsing and crying.  _Every_  bipolar person tries it at one point or another. Ian will too and if you're not watching close enough you'll be a widow before you're thirty. Just think about that when you're standing up there exchanging vows to always stick by each other and remember that Ian won't be able to hold to those vows. Sad as it is that's reality and you'll be Mickey Milkovich gay Southside widower- so lost and broken and pathetic that you won't even have this fearsome rep you seem so fond of."

  She finished speaking and turned with one last glare before she too left the house with Mickey mouth gaping. Ian had told him about his mother trying to kill herself before just after he had admitted his disease to him. It hadn't really crossed his mind though that that was a regular thing, a common thing for people like Ian to do.

  Shit what should he do? He couldn't lose Ian but was it wise marrying a ticking time bomb? Hell no he was not going to think about Ian like that. Not now not ever. Fuck Fiona for getting in his head. Fuck her for trying to split them up in such a cruel way. What the hell did she think she was going to achieve? Mickey leaving Ian and just upping the chances that the red head would off himself.

  He found himself looking at the corner of the kitchen where Fiona had gestured and all he could see was Ian slumped there convulsing like Fiona said, tears on his beautiful face as he sat in a pool of his own blood. Impossibly Mickey felt ill at the thought of the blood but it was Ian's blood, the thought of Ian bleeding out and dying. What happened if one day he came home and found Ian there dead? It would break him, Fiona was right about that he would be left lost and broken.

  "Mick?" he heard, the familiar voice cutting though his thoughts and yet he still couldn't tear his eyes away from that damn corner.

  "Mickey are you okay?" Ian asked, grip suddenly on his arm making him jump.

  Turning quickly, he buried his face in Ian's neck and breathed in the familiar smell of home because Ian was his home, his everything. Ian wrapped him up in his arms then and Mickey clutched at the front of his shirt, they were strong arms full of life. Ian was here right now and he  _needed_  to stay that way, he couldn't leave Mickey. Mickey needed him. 

  "Mick, it's okay. Let's go home and talk, it'll be okay," Ian crooned into his hair and Mickey realised then that he was full on sobbing into his fiancee's neck.

  The humiliation of it didn't quite register because this was Ian, his safe place. He had never felt this hopeless at the thought of his future with Ian before and it was all fucking Fiona's fault, ruining everything like a bitter bitch. Ian would be fine, Mickey would make sure of it.

  "I love you so much," Mickey breathed once he had stopped crying.

  "I love you too Mick, lets get you home. Whatever happened Fiona can wait," Ian said, pulling back and guiding him with a gentle arm around his shoulders.

 


	6. I Promise

  Ian watched as his fiancee entered the Milkovich house before him. The man had been silent on the way over and he had been full on crying when Ian had arrived at the Gallagher house, a Milkovich. Needless to say he was worried. What the hell had happened? Had Fiona or Lip said or done something? What kind of thing could they have possibly done to get that kind of reaction?

  "Mick?" Ian called out uncertainly as the man headed straight to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. All he got was a grunt in response.

  "Please Mick tell me what's wrong," Ian begged, stepping over until he could place a hand on Mickey's waist.

  Watching him closely, Ian was able to see the emotions crossing Mickey's face. There was fear, hopelessness and anger all there. Maybe something more. Nothing good. It was his family that had made him look like that. Ian had just recently had their wedding cancelled, Ian was the one with the spiteful family, it was Ian's fault that he was looking like that. Mickey would never have looked like that before Ian and he had to make sure that he hadn't really broken his fiancee.

  "Your sister said it was a matter of time before you offed yourself," Mickey spat after a moment, face suddenly closing off in a way that Ian hated.

  The ex-con's eyebrows were raised in the way they always were when he got defensive and he had stepped back from Ian, arms now crossed. It was that that registered with him first and then it was the words. Fiona said he would off himself. That he would kill himself and Mickey wouldn't have him anymore. Shit, that would have been why Mickey had been staring so lost at the corner where Monica had slit her wrists.

  Looking down and away from his man, Ian found himself shaking with anger. How could she do that? She was using his mental illness to drive Mickey away. Would it work? Hell had it already? That thought had Ian looking back up quickly, searching the other's face only to see that he was still closed off. That wasn't good. Oh...

  "Mick..." Ian begged quietly, voice broken. He took a step forward but Mickey took another step back and Ian had to close his eyes to hold back the tears.

  "Said that all bipolar people do it at some point," Mickey continued, voice only slightly wavering.

  Looking up again Ian couldn't help but snort as the anger took back over. Every bipolar person? That was such a whole lot of bullshit.

  "Yeah every bipolar person she's known at least. Which totals to our mom and now me. She's full of shit Mickey she wants to break us apart. Don't let her do that Mick please," Ian begged him.

  "I... fuck Ian. I don't want to break up with you. Your piece of shit sister thinks that'll work. Fuck if I left you that would just make you more likely to slit your wrists or throw yourself off a bridge or something. I just... promise me that you won't..." Mickey trailed off, emotions breaking through again.

"I promise," Ian whispered, stepping forward and kissing the other man chastely before wrapping his arms around him.

  For a moment the two of them stood there like that in each other's arms. Mickey's wrapped around Ian's neck with his face buried in the red head's neck. It was such relief to have Mickey there, it was so good to have him worried over Ian's health and life. He had just accepted Ian's promise straight away. He pressed in closer and breathed in the smell of him, reveling in the feel of him in his arms.

  "You have to promise me whenever, if, you feel like that then just remember me and how much I love you. If you ever get to the point where you can't live for you, please live for me," Mickey said softly, lips moving over Ian's skin so that he felt as well as heard the words.

  "I promise Mick," Ian choked. He couldn't believe he had just said that.  _Live for me_. Ian could definitely do that. "I love you so much."

  "Love you too dork," Mickey replied quietly.

***

  Things had been so good after that. Without Mickey knowing Ian had been taking cute photos of Yev and Mickey or Mickey and himself or even all three of them. One of them was a selfie he took when Mickey fell asleep against his shoulder while he cuddled a sleeping Yevgeny. Oh people had loved that one when he posted it.

  Since then he had started posting ones every day and he a ridiculous fan base. He had thousands of people following him and he couldn't help but love sharing how cute and adorable his little family was. Not that he would ever let Mickey know, the guy would freak out for sure and it wouldn't be pretty. It was a good job really that Mickey never ventured onto social media sights.

  It was the night before his EMT test and the night before their wedding was supposed to take place. Ian had been cramming all night and Mickey had gone to bed about half hour before taking Yev with him as Lana was out somewhere- something that was happening more and more. He was just about finished with what he could do before he thought his brain was going to explode so he looked over at the door to their room, more than ready to go to bed physically but mentally just too... uptight.

  The thought of the next day was bittersweet, he was going to finally be getting the qualifications that he needed to get out of that damn club and into a respectable job where he would be saving people. Sure he was nervous about the test but he had never gotten himself overly worked up over such things, it was the whole wedding thing that was bothering him. Mickey hadn't even bothered to talk about resetting a date and Ian still wasn't sure if he wanted to. Ian so badly wanted to no longer be insecure about this thing with Mickey but he couldn't help it. About a month ago when they had last been over to the Gallaghers', Fiona had used Ian's mental illness to try and split them up. One day when Ian's depression was so he was stuck in bed a useless, pathetic and disgusting lump, Ian could not see Mickey staying.

  Live in the moment though as they liked to say so getting up he walked over to their room. The sight within made him smile; Mickey fast asleep with Yev equally gone on his chest. Taking a quick picture, Ian posted it and gently went over and removed Yev from his father's chest, putting him in the cot before getting in the bed and curling around his fiancee.

  Whatever may come he had Mickey right now.


	7. A Big Deal

  Ian's hands shook as he held the papers, stepping quietly into the Milkovich house. Why hadn't he just dumped them on the way home? He could have just said he failed and then Mickey could have just brushed over it, he wouldn't look disappointed right? He would just shrug and get on with it. Now he had brought the damn things home because he just couldn't let them go. Perfect scores, he hadn't just passed he'd gotten perfect in the theory and practical. Not that that mattered because he was still bipolar, that made it worse than if he had just failed. Made him feel like he had failed me.

  "Hey man how you doing? What did you get?" Mickey grinned, walking up to him. Ian hadn't been quiet enough to get past him.

  "Passed," he said as confidently as he could.

  "That's great man, here let me see," Mickey smiled, grabbing the papers from Ian's hand before Ian could stop him.

  Mickey danced out of his way for a bit as he read before he looked up with a huge grin on his face, "perfect man. You got 100% Ian, that's amazing!"

  "Yeah," Ian replied without any luster.

  "Hey what's with that man? You should be bouncing off the walls right now not standing there moping," Mickey frowned.

  Grabbing the form from his pocket, Ian unfolded it and stared down at it. It was shaking as his hands shook and it took him a moment to discern the ink before he spoke.

  "Have you ever spent time in a mental institution or been treated for mental illness," he said.

  "Oh fuck..." Mickey breathed out a moment later.

  "Yeah... just gonna have to look for something else. Don't want to dance at that club anymore," Ian shrugged. Maybe if he didn't make it a big deal then Mickey wouldn't remember it and wouldn't remember the faults and flaws that ran so deep and rotten through him that he couldn't even get a proper job.

  "The fuck are you talking about?" Mickey demanded, grabbing Ian's arm.

  "They aren't going to take me so I've got to find another job," Ian explained, confused as to why Mickey didn't just quit.

  The grip on his arm tightened and Ian had to look down at the pale tattooed fingers curling around his bicep. It was easier than looking at his fiancee's face anyway. Knowing that Mickey now knew that he either continued at the club- which Mickey hated- or find another low paying job where Ian would struggled to both help the Gallaghers and pay for himself in this house. His bipolar was fucking him over and Mickey was going to see what a useless invalid he was.

  "The fuck won't you just tick that fucking no box and just get on with it," Mickey snapped, pulling Ian's gaze back up.

  "Look Mick I can't just lie about it. It's not a big deal anyway, I'll just find something else," Ian reassured, putting his own hand on Mickey's arm because the other's grip on his arm wasn't letting up and he could feel it getting numb.

  "Fuck off Ian you idiot. You put you're all into this, this has been your fucking dream for almost a year so don't treat me like some idiot. Tick the fucking box and get the job cause are those posh twats really gonna look past your perfect score you nerd?" Mickey said harshly, finally letting go of Ian's arm only to move it to the back of his neck.

  Ian just looked at him and mulled over his words. It was a big deal to him he had just hoped that Mickey wouldn't register that but then again he was right, he wasn't an idiot and he knew Ian. The ex-con was so much more intelligent than he ever let anyone think, probably more than he himself thought. If he just ticked that box...

  "Okay Mick," Ian responded quietly.

  "Good," Mickey smiled, leaning his forehead against Ian's.

***

  It was later that night that they were sat around the table eating, Ian feeding Yev and Mickey watching as he ate his pasta. Ian had made the meal about an hour after he had returned home and finally calmed himself down. It was stupid really, getting so worked over something like that- it's why he went straight to cooking as a sort of apology. Mickey had seemed so angry earlier and he couldn't help but worry about it, still feeling like he should hide the existence of his disease, that way- hopefully-  it wouldn't seem real to his fiancee that way.

  Every now and then he would glance over at Mickey out of the corner of his eye, just to check. Indeed the man did look slightly uncomfortable but Ian wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because Svetlana wasn't there again... maybe it was him. He hoped not but then again he was worried about Lana too.

  Instead of saying anything, once they had finished Ian picked up Yevgeny. Rocking the kid he held him until his eyelids started to droop, Ian paced around in the other room away from Mickey. As he was putting the now sleeping boy down though, the man appeared in the doorway.

  "Hey," Ian smiled, pecking him on the cheek as he tried to pass him.

  Mickey however grabbed his arm, this time gently and steered him out of Lana's room and into their own before closing the door. Looking at Mickey he could see the tension in the lines of his face so he stepped forward and kissed him, hands travelling down his sides before he was roughly pushed away.

  "Fucking stop for a minute. Okay I want to talk then we can fuck... definitely but talk. Fuck I hate you sometimes you've turned me into a fucking girl," Mickey snorted.

  "Um okay. If this is about earlier I have ticked no," Ian guessed.

  "Yeah it's about earlier not the fucking boxes though. We the fuck did you lie? Thought this whole relationship bullshit was based on trust and all that?" Mickey accused.

  "I... I didn't want it to be a big deal," Ian confessed quietly.

  "Big deal? Why the fuck would you try to hide that. Again with partners and all that we're meant to share out shitty problems."

  "Didn't want you to be angry or disappointed," Ian told him and he felt like such a pathetic little child being told off in that moment.

  "What with you? Fuck me you're a dork," he laughed before pulling Ian to him.

  Sighing in relief Ian wrapped his arms around the other, kissing him firmly before pulling back and looking straight at his fiancee.

  "So about fucking you..." he grinned suggestively right before Mickey pushed him down onto the bed before straddling him.

  "Now we've established that you're an idiot I think the only way you redeem yourself is by fucking me good and hard Firecrotch," the thug practically growled in Ian's ear as he lent down over him.

  Ian could only respond by doing such.


	8. Going Well Till It's Not

  Mickey was right about Ian's job not being a big deal because it was, especially when he went for the first day and it was one of the best things ever. In fact that week was probably one of the highest of his life. He had this job where the people were lovely and welcoming and he got to quite literally save lives. It was the best feeling to come down from the rush as they stood outside of the hospital after their living patient was wheeled inside. 

  On top of that, coming home after every shift he got Yev and Mickey. Lana had been MIA a lot and as much as he loved the woman, it meant that he got chance to pretend that they were a normal little family of three. That night for example he came home to see Mickey playing aeroplanes with Yevgeny, so absorbed in it that he didn't notice Ian as he made silly faces at his giggling son. 

  Beaming, Ian pulled out his phone and snapped a pic before making his presence known. As soon as Mickey saw him his smile changed from his Yevgeny smile to his Ian smile- there was an honest to God difference- and he tucked the still gurgling kid into his side. 

  "Look it's your daddy Yev," Mickey grinned, pointing at Ian.

  That made Ian pause, Mickey had never said anything like that before. Sure he had told Ian months ago that he was basically a dad to Yev but this was a whole other thing. He honestly didn't know how to feel about it because although he had always liked to think of himself as a parental figure to Mickey's kid- especially after his talk with the man- he had never been big headed enough to actually consider Yev calling him anything but Ian.

  Mickey must have seen the look on Ian's face because he stopped and frowned slightly before realisation hit.

  "Hey man, sorry I've never said that before have I?" Mickey grinned shyly, "always thought it though in my head. Didn't ask though, just assumed though cause you were all shy about the whole Yev not being anything to you and how happy you were when I said you were wrong. I mean you are fine with it right?"

  "Yeah... I just didn't expect it you know. I mean you said I was like Yevy's dad but I just thought I'd be Ian you know. Just didn't expect it..." Ian trailed off, knowing his had his "sappy" smile on.

  "Yeah well Yev's growing up with his Mom, Dad and Papa if you want that," Mickey grinned, moving forward again so that Ian could wrap and arm around the pair.

  "You dad or papa?" Ian asked, looking down at him.

  "Papa, never wanted to be a dad so I may as well be a papa right?" Mickey smirked.

  "Slippery, cheeky sod," Ian teased, poking Mickey in the side and making him squirm.

  They parted after that laughing as Ian made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Once lent against the side he posted the picture he'd just taken of his two favourite people. He had so many followers now and he had posted dozens of pictures and even some videos. Debbie was the only one of his siblings to follow and like his pictures. Speaking of he really needed to talk to the Gallaghers it had been weeks after all... he couldn't blame them all just because of what Fiona said.

***

  Two weeks. That was how long he had lasted before they had found out about his bipolar and he had been fired on the spot. That was how long it lasted. Two fucking weeks. Walking out of the station he felt empty because what the fuck was he supposed to do now? Mickey would never want to marry him now that he couldn't even keep an honest job for more than a fortnight. It was stupid, the whole thing. Of course they found out, of course...

  A long time ago he had promised himself that he wouldn't let his disease get in the way but that was before Mickey and hope. That was before he found this perfect job that he loved. Now it was hard to think that way... not impossible though. Maybe he could find another job before he had to tell Mickey... maybe he could find a job and never tell Mickey. No that wouldn't work, his fiancee would find out at some point and then just be pissed at him.

  He'd look for another job then but he would not do that today. No right now he was shaking and he could feel the tightness in his chest that made him have to concentrate on his breathing. Tomorrow he'd do it tomorrow.

  Getting on the L was tough with all the people there it just worsened the tightness, he couldn't concentrate on his breathing with all the noise. As much as he hated it he was actually wheezing by the time he reached his home, hoping to God that he was wrong when he knew that Mickey didn't have a shift right now. He couldn't stay on the streets though, he was about to have a full blown panic attack and he didn't want to be anywhere that was remotely exposed.

  As soon as he fell through the door Mickey looked up at him from where he was sat on the sofa. His face immediately creased up in worry as he took Ian in and jumped up to come to him. Ian stumbled forward ans collapsed into his arms as his vision swam with lack of oxygen.  The pair slowly sank to the floor, Mickey supporting him with his arms wrapped around him while Ian clutched at the front of Mickey's vest.

  "Hey man shit what happened. God just listen to my breathing, follow it okay," Mickey sounded like he was panicked but trying to hide it. Probably was.

  "They... found- they found out Mick. Fired... fired me," Ian wheezed. He hadn't wanted to tell him but how the hell else would he explain away this?

  "Okay man. Okay love just breath. In out in out okay just follow mine," Mickey said, taking one of Mickey's hands and placing the palm flat against his chest.

  Eventually, Ian calmed down. He rested his head wearily against Mickey's chest as the other ran his tattooed finger's through the red hair. Guilt suddenly crushed him, this wasn't meant to happen. A lot of things that happened weren't meant to have happened.

  "I'm sorry," Ian breathed into Mickey's chest.

  "Shut up Ian. This wasn't your fault, I'm so sorry it happened to you but I don't want you to hear you apologise one more fucking time for this," Mickey growled, smacking the back of his head lightly before running his fingers through the hair again.

***

 That evening Ian could feel the heaviness settling in and he just hoped that he was wrong about what it was. He had spent the evening curled into Mickey's side with Yev in his arms, Lana gone out again. He didn't feel content like he always did though but he had to be wrong, he was taking his meds religiously.

  Going to bed that night there was a hopeless pit in his stomach as he climbed in beside Mickey. It was a struggled to get from the couch to the bed and that worried him. What worried him more was how when Mickey wrapped around him like usual his skin seemed to crawl and itch.

  It wasn't really a surprise then that the next morning he woke early like always when he went for his run but found that he had no energy to move. He felt hopeless and worthless... depressed. Shit.


	9. Depressed

  Ian lay there staring at the wall as the sun rose and shon through the window, Mickey still asleep beside him. The man was curled into his back but his arms weren't around the younger which was more than slightly relieving for him. Just having him touch him this much... he'd never been around anyone when he was depressed before but now with the man he loved touching him it felt wrong. Undeserving. Like last night it made him itch and now he knew why and he hated it.

  When Mickey woke up and saw what was wrong it was going to be it. He hadn't seen Ian's bipolar before, he had only read about it online. It was one thing to read about it and a whole other world to live it and finally Mickey would see what a mess Ian was. He would rescind the whole thing about Ian being Yev's dad and he would regret his proposal. Ian would be out on his ass as soon as he left the bed- he was under no delusions that Mickey was cruel enough to kick him out while he was still like this.

  He'd have to go back to the Gallaghers' and see their knowing, smug faces and hear the "I told you so's". Never see or hold Yev again or feed him, never watch him grow or have his first word, first steps... anything. And he would deserve it because he was a mess and he shouldn't be allowed near a baby. Why did Mickey ever allow him near his son?

  The thought had him crying silently, the tears, fat and ugly, just rolling across his face, over his nose and down onto the pillow. At least he couldn't bring himself to make a noise because then he would wake Mickey and that wasn't fair. Then again if Mickey woke and saw the tears he would be even more disgusted by Ian than he already would be so with a stupid amount of effort he raised his hand and roughly scrubbed at his face until the tears were gone.

  In the hours that followed he drifted in and out of sleep, when awake always feeling the dull pit of despair eating away at him. This time though it wasn't as bad as the first day he had been depressed before, maybe it was the meds. Maybe he could get out of bed sooner this time so he could leave and not have to disappoint Mickey and be a burden in Mickey for as long. There was always small graces right... no. No there wasn't. It wasn't going to be that way because the world wasn't that kind. 

  "Morning," Mickey mumbled beside him, stretching and rubbing a hand down his arm making him tense up right away. "Don't normally get this pleasure. You okay after yesterday?"

  Mickey started to kiss down Ian's neck but he flinched away. He couldn't help it it just felt so wrong Mickey touching him. Especially like that with love and all. Wrong. He could feel from the movements on the mattress that Mickey was sitting up. Now was the time when he realised and then realised that he hated Ian and his disease and how unreliable and volatile and useless he was. 

  "What's up man?" Mickey said after a moment, "Seriously you okay?"

  Ian wanted to answer him, he did. Wanted to get him to go away so he wasn't looking at him and what a failure he was anymore. If he went away he wouldn't want to touch Ian and maybe if he went away then the itching would stop. God he had to calm down or he was going to cry again. No he had to hide, the world couldn't see him, Mickey couldn't see him. Where they the same thing? No they couldn't be because then the world was going to be gone. He was then... it made sense.

  Pulling the cover up over his head with a shaky hand, clamping it down like a shield. Now the world couldn't see him and if he scrunched up his eyes he couldn't see it, not even the blanket. Things could work this way. Mickey would go if he couldn't see him. He would definitely go when he realised, maybe he would go faster if he-

  "Ian is this... shit your meds aren't working," Mickey vocalised above him, once again trying to touch Ian only to have the red head slump away from it.

  With that Mickey got up and left, Ian relaxing slightly, closing his eyes and trying to keep from drowning in the sadness and voices in his head. It was hard though and it was taking everything and he was so tired. It was only morning and he was so weary. It wasn't even like when he ran and his muscles ached, it was the kind of tired you get when you were tired of life and you wanted everything to just stop.

  He was broken from his thoughts though as he heard the bedroom door open again and suddenly the blanket was being pulled down. It was slow and careful and gave Ian plenty of time to close his eyes again, something that was almost too easy with how heavy his eyelids were and how badly he didn't want to see the look in Mickey's eyes.

  "I made some toast. Want some?" Mickey asked, he was obviously crouching down beside him. The thing made his heart break. Why was Mickey even trying?

  He wasn't hungry though. The thought of food made his stomach roll, he didn't deserve it. Didn't deserve the food especially when it came from Mickey so he shook his head and didn't open his eyes. Instead he just heard his fiancee sigh and the clack of the plate being put down on the bedside table.

  "It's there if you want... just um please take the pills Ian," Mickey pressed. 

  That made him open his eyes. If he took the pills he'd get out of bed sooner and out of Mickey's hair. That was why Mickey was trying. So he carefully looked at the hand and the proffered pills, slowly reaching out a pathetically weak hand to grab them. Mickey was holding a glass of water but Ian swallowed them dry, he didn't want to have to touch Mickey again, and afterwards he just closed his eyes.

  Then Mickey tried to run his fingers through Ian's hair and his eyes shot open again and moved back on the bed away from him. He collapsed back down on the bed, exhausted from the effort, and pulled the blanket back up over his head.                        

  Once again he heard Mickey sigh before saying," It'll be okay Ian I promise."

  Ian didn't really believe him though.          


	10. Proud In Life

  Selfishly, Mickey had rather been enjoying Svetlana's absences recently. He had no clue where she went but he didn't give a fuck, no though with Ian in bed... Taking care of Yev ad suddenly become very hard, he just wanted to be beside Ian all the time making sure that he was okay, him being in bed depressed was just the kind of thing that Fiona must have meant when she was talking about bipolar people getting suicidal. He couldn't have that.

  So there he was rocking Yev in his arms, fingers curled tightly into the baby grow in order to stop them shaking. The baby had been crying more than usual and Mickey wasn't sure if it was because of how tense he had been or because he missed Ian. Hell it had only been five days but it felt like an eternity. He'd managed to get Ian to take his pills when he needed then but the ex-con wasn't all that sure that it was useful as these things had obviously failed. 

  He had gotten Ian to drink for the first time the day before and the relief of it had him on the verge of tears- but only the verge because despite how gay he was these days he was still a Milkovich. He had handed Ian the water with his meds and his beautiful love had taken it in shaking hands, sipping on it with Mickey's help. After he had then been able to get Ian to the bathroom. He was able to piss and then Mickey had drawn him bath and washed him. The whole time Ian had protested, when he had first lifted him it had been with weak shoves at his chest and muttered objections. By the end it seemed his red head only had the energy to occasionally shy away from his touch and when Mickey tucked him back into bed a thin hand came up and dragged the blanket back over his head. 

  So far today he hadn't got any reaction but "Go away" and it was almost worse now after what he thought was progress the day before. Looking down at his son in his arms he saw the boy was asleep again, face buried in his neck. His heart warmed slightly at the sight but he had to put the kid down. Once he'd done that he came back into the kitchen just in time to see the screen of Ian's phone light up on the counter. He didn't know why but he'd kept Ian's phone charged- maybe out of habit or maybe because of some deeper physiological bullshit.

  Looking at it he saw an Instagram notification so he unlocked the phone and opened the app. There was a message from some girl asking Ian "When are you next going to post about your beautiful family?". That was when he started to look through Ian's posts, eyes popping when he saw the number of people following his fiancee. All of the pictures- each one getting thousands of likes- were of Mickey, Yev and Ian. They were pictures and videos that Mickey had no idea his fiancee had taken, all of them together...

  It was beautiful. He had to sit down at the table as he looked through the pictures, most of them were him and Yev. They, along with their captions, showed just how much Ian loved them both and it was... It was what he needed to see when Ian was in the other room lying in bed unable to get up because he was so depressed.

  Scrolling through he saw pictures and videos of their everyday life. Sweet little moments like the three of them curled together in Mickey and Ian's bed. There was one where Mickey was reading with Yev in his arms, taken as a selfie with Ian leaning in and another one where Yev was asleep on Mickey's chest. There were videos of Ian cooing to Yev and one where Mickey was playing with the boy in the garden on a sunny day.

  All of the comments were glowing and Ian answered with how much he loved them, how they were so special and precious that he had to share this. By the time he got to the first one- one of Ian kissing Yev's cheek- he found that there were tears running down his face as he silently cried. Looking at how happy they were and how beautiful and pure Ian's smile was made him wish for his fiancee right then.

  After a moment he pushed himself up from the table and set the phone down before making his way over to his and Ian's room. Opening the door and standing in the doorway, he watched Ian as he lay in bed. As ever the blanket was drawn all the way up so that it covered everything including that bright red hair that Mickey loved so much. The blanket was moving slightly as Ian breathed but other than that the room was sickeningly still and silent.

  Eventually, Mickey pushed himself off of the door frame and made his way over to the bed, crawling carefully onto it so as not to jostle the man already there. With shaking hands he scrubbed at his face so that Ian wouldn't see that he was crying- he had to be strong for him right now- and then pulled the blanket down from Ian's head.

  Ian was facing away from him but from the first time in days he didn't flinch away as Mickey ran his fingers through that slightly greasy red hair. He took confidence from it and shuffled forwards tentatively so that he was lying behind Ian as the big spoon, after another long second he gently rested his arm over Ian's side. The moment that he realised Ian was going to allow his touch was the moment he almost sobbed in relief. He hated it so much that Ian couldn't stand his touch like this when all he wanted to do was bundle him up in his arms.

  "I saw your Instagram," Mickey told him quietly. Ian tensed in his arms then but he didn't pull away. Did he hide it from Mickey on purpose?

  "I saw how many people liked those photos and videos and shit. It was all three of us, our little family. We always look so happy in your posts. So happy Ian and you post those everyday. Means we're happy and loving everyday. I... I fucking know okay that you can't help this shit right now and that none of it is your fault. I can't believe right now that you are letting me touch you and I want you to know how glad and how proud I am that you're letting me. Just... those posts they show how wonderful our life is together and how beautiful it all is and all that stupid faggoty shit that I used to hide from and now I love and cherish," Mickey said, taking a deep breath before continuing," I want you to know that and remember how special it is because then you can think about it, about how much you love Yev and how much you love me. Then you think about how much we both love you back cause when you get up and you're feeling better we'll be here. We'll always be here. You're Yev's dad and you're gonna be my husband. You're gonna make those posts till we're old any grey and they'll go from being about you and me and Yev to about the three of us and Yev's kids or about maybe another kid we might have. Can you imagine that Ian? Our family getting bigger over the years and how amazing that'll be. I am so proud of us. We've got this thing going on, so much to be proud of in our life Ian. So much to look forward to in the future."

  He had to stop then if only for a moment because he was picturing it and it did sound amazing. Him and Ian being grandads or getting a kid that was just theirs... Him and Ian growing old and grey together, at an age that Mickey never thought he'd reach before. Breathing in the smell of his fiancee though as they lay in the bed together... he knew they could do it.

  "I love you so so much Ian and I'll be here with you through thick and thin till the day I die," Mickey promised.

  He felt Ian begin to shake then, sobs escaping his mouth. Over the past few days he'd seen Ian cry but before it had been silent tears marring his lovely face. Now he was sobbing and Mickey felt his heart stop as Ian's hand came up and wrapped around his wrist to pull him closer.

  "I love you so so much okay," he reinforced, heart pounding as he squeezed Ian gently, placing a kiss into his hair, "So much."


	11. Believe It

  He didn't know how long he had been in bed for, all he knew was that the fog was clearing and he knew he'd have the strength to get up again soon. The night before Mickey had wrapped him up in his arms and Ian, while uncomfortable, found that it didn't make his skin feel like it was burning. Then his fiancee had said all of those things.

  That night had been the first where Mickey had fallen asleep spooning Ian and Ian had been so, so grateful for the human contact for the first time since his depression set in. Normally when Ian was well he was the big spoon but last night with Mickey curled around him he felt safe and warm... he needed it. When he woke up the next morning and Mickey was still there, breath ghosting over the back of his neck, he found that he could breath freely for the first time in days. 

  Ian wasn't an idiot, he knew that it was Mickey that pulled him out of his head. Mickey and the meds. But mostly Mickey. Mickey who hadn't given up on him. He was still there... after all of that shit show, how he had yelled at him and flinched away from his touch. Mickey who had dragged him from bed kicking and screaming to make sure that he was clean and could piss. The man who had made him food that he refused every time and gave him water and meds and love.

  The red head found himself shaking with silent tears then. He couldn't believe it, how much Mickey must love him. Looking down he could see the tattooed knuckles over his ribs, grip firm even as Mickey slept. He couldn't believe it. The feel of his fiancee behind him, sold and real and safe... Mickey. Ian found himself struggling to breath as he tried to stifle the sounds but even then his body moving must have woken the other because he felt Mickey shift behind him and groan.

  "Hey, hey, you're okay," Mickey soothed straight away, voice gravely with sleep, his hand began to rub softly up and down Ian's side.

  Instead of saying anything, Ian flipped over and buried his head in his fiancee's chest. His fists balled in Mickey's shirt with more strength than he'd had in days and he just sobbed. The man had just woken up and the moment he realised Ian was crying he tried to make it better- this before he was even fully conscious. God he loved him so much.

  "Thank you Mick, thank you so much. God I love you. I love you so much. Thank you. God... oh God thank you so much. I want you with me till the end. I'll be here till the end. I promise Mick, I promise. Please... God I love you. Thank you," Ian sobbed, moving his head up so he said the words into the skin of his love's neck.

  "Hey, hey Ian you don't need to thank me. You help the people you love and you stand by them. I didn't do anything more than anyone else that loved you would," Mickey replied into Ian's hair.

  "But you did," Ian breathed out, pulling away to look at Mickey dead on, "anyone else would have just put me into a nuthouse. It's what my family would have done."

  "Screw your family Ian. Fuck 'em you hear. I ain't ever putting you in hospital for this if I can help it okay," Mickey told him sincerely gripping the sides of Ian's face in his hands.

  For a long moment the two just stared at each other. Mickey was looking at Ian in awe as if he couldn't believe that this was happening, to be honest Ian didn't blame him, his poor thug was probably loosing hope and faith in him. For his part though Ian could only study the face of the only person that had ever truly loved and understood him. He had to take in the eyes- a glorious blue that showed what Mickey was really feeling even when he tried to hide-  his cheekbones, chin covered in a light shadowing of stubble and his lips... full and- he knew- soft. It felt like he hadn't seen Mickey in years, hadn't kissed him either so that's what he did.

  They came together and the kiss wasn't heated, wasn't going to lead anywhere. Instead the pair tried to conveyed just how important the other was to them through it. It was soft and slow and so full of love that Ian found that he had tears running down his face once more. Mickey was here even after this. He was going to stay with Ian and love him no matter.

  "Don't need my family. Got you and Yev and that maybe other kid and Yev's kids in the future," Ian smiled through the tears after he broke away, remembering Mickey's ramblings from the day before.

  "Ah you were listening you dork. You always listen to the sappy shit," Mickey grinned back, he had his own tear tracks running down that perfect pale skin.

  "Yeah well it's always particularly funny when it comes from you," Ian stuck his tongue out at Mickey.

  Next thing they knew the pair was wrestling, sheets getting tangled around them as they laughed and played. Ian soon flopped back with Mickey leaning over him, admitting defeat still tired from his episode. He could only smile up at the other, their chests heaving and both grinning before Mickey dipped down to place a chaste kiss against Ian's lips.

  "I can't wait to be a Milkovich," Ian breathed against Mickey's cheek as the man leaned down slightly so nuzzle sweetly into the side of Ian's face.

  "Yeah?" Mickey replied, pulling back to stare down at him before he collapsed down on the bed next to him.

  Ian twisted round so he was lying on his side and brought his hand up to stroke down over the stubble on his fiancee's jaw as they watched each other.

  "Still want to find a new job, just don't know what I want to do now," Ian confessed sadly.

  "Fuck off man, no. You shouldn't just lie down and let those stuck up shits walk all over you. They can't fucking fire you for a genetic illness. Ain't right man. Goes against our American rights and all that shit," Mickey replied firmly, moving onto his side also so that he was directly facing Ian.

  "Yeah? Think I can do that?" Ian asked uncertain.

  "Know it. You're such a stubborn ass you can get anything you put your mind to," Mickey confirmed.

  "Yeah... got you," Ian grinned, running his fingers gently through Mickey's hair.

  "Yeah you did. Tell you what we've not reorganised this wedding shit. I say as soon as you've got your job back we go book and get hitched. Have you, me and Yev there. Our little family," Mickey grinned.

  "Well we need to invite Debbie. She's excited about this, almost as much as us, plus I don't think a baby will count as a witness," Ian added.

  "Yeah... Goddamn you Gallaghers seem to put all of the non-asshole genes in your ginger hair," Mickey shook his head with a teasing smile.

  "Damn right," Ian grinned back before yawning.

  "Tired?" Mickey asked, suddenly in caring mode making Ian's heart melt.

  "Yeah, this um this stuff it... it makes me tired for a bit after. Really want a shower before any more sleep though. I'm gross," Ian replied.

  "Can agree there," Mickey snorted.

  Ian grinned again and pushed at his chest playfully before slowly sitting up. His head spun and he had to take his time as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood shakily. Taking a deep breath he pushed away from the bed entirely and started to make his way over to the bathroom when he felt an arm on his elbow and turned to see Mickey.

  "You okay man?" he asked.

  "Bit weak," Ian confessed.

  "Want me to come with you?"

  "Please."

  So they got in the shower together and for the first time ever that they had done that it wasn't about sex. The warm water ran down over them and they stood close, so close they were pretty much the same person. Ian leaned into Mickey's hands as he massaged shampoo into his scalp while Ian rubbed soap into the brunette's chest and pressed soft kisses to his shoulder. The whole thing was tender and loving, it was then with them together like that that it all really hit Ian. Mickey was staying. He wasn't going anywhere because he didn't see Ian as a failure and he didn't blame Ian for his disease. He was going to be with Ian as his husband and his family. Forever.


	12. She's Fucking Gone

  Ian stood up in the abandoned building at the window just watching the clouds. It was strange really, Mickey had asked him to come up here to meet him when he finished his shift. It had been two months since his last episode and now he was balanced on his meds with his job as an EMT restored after he marched back in and got the full support of his coworkers until his boss caved. It had been a month ago when he and Mickey had booked in their wedding once more and it was on that same day that Ian had gone back to the Gallagher house since Fiona had made Mickey break down.

  Debbie, Lip and Fiona had been the only ones home which had been kind of perfect because he wanted to confront Fiona, wanted to invite Debbie and hoped that Lip would want to go too. They had been shocked to see him, Debbie running straight over to hug him, Lip following soon after and clamping him on the back while Fiona hung back unsure. Certainly the glare that he sent her showed that she should stay away.

  "You are a fucking bitch and I want you to know now that I want nothing to do with you. You stopped being my sister, my guardian the moment that you found out that I was bipolar. You stopped seeing me, you saw Monica instead and you couldn't see past your set, stereotyping view to see that Mickey isn't his dad. I came here because we've got a new date and I wanted to invite Debbie and see if maybe Lip would want to come too," he had said, looking to the two younger siblings questioningly as he finished.

  "Oh yes Ian! Finally!" Debbie had squealed, clapping her hands together and diving at him to hug him tightly.

  "Yeah man, I'd like that," Lip smiled and nodded.

  "Oh great, a Milkovich getting the Gallagher name, another blot on us," Fiona had said after, face twisted into something a mix between sadness and anger.

  "No. Actually I'm gonna be a Milkovich," he had told her.

  That had gotten shocked faces, none of them had known what to say to that so he had quickly said goodbye and left again to go back to his wonderful Milkovich family. He hadn't cared then, and he still didn't, what they thought of his decision. The only one who would be able to tell him not to  become a Milkovich that he would listen to would be Mickey and Mickey wanted the same as him. It was pretty much set in stone.

  Now, little over a month later, he stood there in the building where the blankets and the course still lay and waited. He'd been there for about fifteen minutes and was on his second smoke when he saw Mickey approaching. The man looked up and saw him standing there, both waving to each other before Mickey's hands went back into his pockets and he continued on his way.

  Finally Mickey made his way up, striding confidently through the doorway and straight up to Ian. He looked... distressed. Miserable but angry at the same time before he was there and his face was buried in Ian's neck, arms wrapped around him. The Gallagher but soon to be Milkovich loved that his fiancee came to him more and more these days for affection when he was upset. Though he hated it when his fiancee was upset so it was a bittersweet feeling. 

  "Hey what's up?" Ian asked, rubbing at the base of Mickey's skull in the way he knew the other liked.

  "Ceiling," came the muffled reply.

  "Oh fuck off," Ian snorted, smacking Mickey playfully around the back of the head.

  It was then that Mickey pulled back and looked at him. He was biting at his lip and he rubbed his knuckles under his nose in that way of his. Cocking his head to the side, Ian took him in now really worried, wondering what the hell could have brought this on. He didn't suddenly think the whole getting married thing was a bad idea did he? No. No Ian was over that fear, Mickey had stomped that out with a mix of pure love, mind blowing sex and body worship.

  "What's wrong Mick? Why'd you want to meet here?" Ian asked.

  "Had to get away from the house for a bit. It's um... Svetlana you know she's been fucking off to who knows where recently well um... packed all her shit today. Left papers giving up her parental responsibilities and signing them over to you. She's fucking gone," Mickey got out.

  Ian couldn't help but just stare. What the fuck was he meant to say to that? Why the hell would Svet leave, leave Yev? She and Mickey may not be married anymore but she was still family, she was part of their little household. Now she was leaving. She had made Ian Yev's legal guardian and all. What... why?

  At that moment something shifted in Mickey and he turned and swung his fist viciously at the beam behind him. Swearing loudly he grasped the hand he'd just used and Ian jumped forward taking it carefully in his own hand, looking down to see it was definitely broken.

  "Stupid bitch. Stupid fucking whore. Worthless commie skank," Mickey spat through the pain.

  "Hey Mick it'll be okay. We can look after Yev ourselves. We'll be okay," Ian reassured.

  "Fuck Ian I know we can look after the kid," Mickey replied, looking up at him in anguish," I fucking know that okay and we'll be thousand times better at it than our dads. But she's fucking abandoning him Ian. She's leaving him so he has no mom. My mom died, that fucking hurt when she wasn't there anymore and I missed her and all but your mom left. Your mom is out there in the world elsewhere away from you not giving a shit. How the fuck does that make you feel huh? Can't imagine it's any good. Stupid selfish bitch just leaving him."

  "Shit Mickey. I didn't... oh hell," Ian breathed out, holding Mickey close as the man cradled his hand.

  "Yeah shit. Fucking bitch... never gonna forgive her for this," Mickey mumbled into Ian's neck.

  "No fucking way," Ian backed.

***

  Later when they had gotten back from the hospital they stopped by the Alibi where apparently Mickey had dropped Yev off with Kev. The bartender handed the baby over to the two men and they made their way back in silence, Ian holding Yev as he still had two functioning hands.   

  The streets were dark by then, only lit by the streetlamps and it kind of fit with the whole mood of things. Dark. But getting back home they flicked on the lights and saw their life, all of Yev's toys and little possessions of Mickey and Ian's dotted around. It was so much cleaner than it had been a year ago, a better place for Yev to grow up in. 

  "We'll love you enough Yev. You'll have the two of us, doesn't matter your mom ain't here," Ian said into Yev's temple although it was mainly for Mickey's benefit.

  Looking back over at Mickey it seemed that he was relieved by Ian's words although he still looked uncharacteristically vulnerable so he continued," we won't let him suffer for this Mick, I promise. Plenty of kids these days have just two dads."

  "Holy fuck. We're like a typical urban faggy couple now Firecrotch," Mickey snorted.

  "Hey yeah. Just remember that you're the one that's gonna be promising me eternal love and signing a legal document on it next week. That's pretty faggy Mick," Ian grinned.

  "Mickey and Ian Milkovich," Mickey grinned.

  "Hey no Ian and Mickey Milkovich," Ian teased back.

  "Aye fuck off, most important one comes first tough guy," Mickey smirked, jabbing Ian in the side making him jump away and Yev squeal with laughter, their happiness obviously contagious. 

  "Hey whatever helps you sleep at night," Ian replied, pecking him on the cheek before making his way over to the kitchen, Yev still in his arms.

  "You're a little shit and I hate you," Mickey called after him.

  "Love you too Mick."

 


	13. Finally There

  They were Mickey and Ian, that meaning that nothing fancy was planned- much to Debbie's disappointment. They were at the registry office with Debbie, Lip and Yev that was it. They were both in jeans and a shirt, Mickey's black and Ian's blue, their three guests were also smart-casual, again much to Debbie's disappointment. They didn't need anymore though.

 The pair said their vows, kissed, Debbie wiped away tears and Lip had a small smile while Yev was generally oblivious of everything. They then left without fanfare but the boys with huge grins and rings on their fingers. As they stepped back outside, bidding Debbie and Lip goodbye, Ian looked over at his new husband and couldn't help but wrap the shorter man in his arms. Mickey chuckled and wrapped the arm that wasn't holding Yev around Ian's neck as Ian buried his face in Mickey's. 

  "I love you," Ian muttered against the skin.

  "Love you too Ian Milkovich," Mickey returned.

  Ian pulled back to stare at him, grin so wide it was a wonder his skin wasn't splitting. That had been the first time that he had been called that legally and it felt amazing. He was no longer a Gallagher and he wasn't in the least bit sad about that. The EMT was able to wind his fingers into those of his husband, feeling the ring cool against his skin. The last time Mickey had worn a ring it had been Svetlana's but now it was his. He wondered if Svetlana had left because they were getting married. He hoped that wasn't the case.

  At that moment, Yev gurgled in Mickey's arms, leaning over and grabbing at the material of Ian's shirt. Both men turned their attention to the baby, as ever their cute bundle being the centre of their world. The boy was smiling at them even as he made grabby hands at Ian, getting his wish as he was passed over. Kissing the blond hair, Mickey took a step back only to reach out and grab Ian's hand again, pulling until they started walking.

  Even after all this time Mickey did't ever hold his hand outside and Ian never attempted to push that. Here they were though, the three of them a little family, Mickey, Ian and Yevgeny Milkovich with the married couple holding hands proudly. It was a dream come true and Ian didn't think he could possibly be happier else he would burst. 

  "Hey Mick, we're a typical couple of gays now. Skipping along holding hands with a little baby and all," Ian teased, putting on a false dreamy voice.

  "Aye shut the fuck up you dork. A, we ain't fucking skipping and b, we need to get home pronto and put the little baby to bed so we can consummate this new marriage," Mickey smirked.

  That thought went straight to Ian's dick and he subconsciously sped up which made Mickey chortle and Ian then flip him off. 

***

  As soon as Yev was asleep- not an easy feat as he didn't want to go down at all- Mickey and Ian were on each other. Mickey roughly pushed Ian back into their bedroom, lips on his. As soon as he had pushed him down onto the bed though Ian flipped them so that he was on top, the pair rapidly pulling the clothes off of each other. 

  Soon Mickey was naked beneath him and Ian couldn't help but be drawn to the ring that glinted from Mickey's finger. Without breaking eye contact, Ian picked up that hand and licked over the fingers, sucking the ring finger fully into his mouth and watching as Mickey moaned beneath him. His husband. That was what he was thinking as he moved down Mickey's body and sucked on his husbands dick or when he was sliding into his husband. 

  As roughly as they started, the actual 'consummation', as Mickey had put it, was slow and loving. They either kept eye contact or kissed the entire time, although towards the end it was more like just breathing into each other's mouths. It was all perfect because it was his husband beneath him and he was making love to him as Ian Milkovich. Despite everything they were husbands and they were going to grow old together, loving each other till the day they died.

  Ian wasn't an idiot, he knew that marriage wasn't always a forever thing- look at Lana and Mickey- but with Mickey asking him, a man, to marry him... It was something with meaning, it jumped a mile over Mickey's fear of his dad and of being gay. It meant something and it was love. They would be different, they would be together forever.

  Falling down side by side after they finished together, they just lay their panting. Ian was more than a little aware of Mickey's eyes on him even as he kept his own closed in the post orgasm bliss. After a bit, he felt the bed move as Mickey got up and then the sound of the lighter clicking as he lit up their traditional smoke. 

  Pulling himself up, Ian sat himself up on the board against Mickey's side as they passed the cigarette back and forth. When it was finished they slid under the sheets, facing each other and just basking and relaxing. Once again, Ian found himself grabbing at Mickey's hand and playing with the ring, pushing round and round the finger as Mickey watched him. His husband began to run his fingers through Ian's hair and he rested his head against Mickey's chest as he continued to play with the ring.

  "Thank you," Mickey whispered eventually.

  "What for?" Ian asked, fingers stilling on his hand but not letting go.

  "For giving me a second chance," Mickey replied.

  A second chance... After their first years and after Svetlana. It didn't seem much compared to the shit Mickey had to go through because of Ian and his disease... what he would go through. The fact that he was thanking Ian and was grateful for Ian...

  "Thank you for standing by me through everything," Ian whispered back.

  "Yeah... guess we're even then," Mickey conceded and Ian could hear the smile before a kiss was placed in his hair. He could only hum happily in reply.

  "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you Mick," he told the other after a long while of silence.

  "Can't wait either... Ian Milkovich."

  END


End file.
